October 4, 2023

The Journey to Find Yourself

At 48 years old, I think I am finding myself.  I mean truly happy in my skin and who I am as a person.  Going through the trials of life and those overwhelming feelings we all face really have helped shape me into the person I am becoming.  I did not like all those different trials and circumstances that I had to face, but I know that as I went through each one of them and came out on the other side, that I have gained more wisdom on life.

It is a journey to find yourself.  I have messed up so many times on this journey but one thing I know is that I never let defeat keep me down long.  I know for me I have a purpose here on earth. Yes, it gets a little cloudy at times but our purpose is always there, I just have to dig to find it.

I know God shows us the way and uses the hard times to build character. God will not put us in situations that we can not handle.  Those hard times or processes of life shape us and mend us to get us ready for what God has ahead.

I can remember when I was 19 years old and very unhappy since I had to decline my dreams of going off to college to stay home with my family who needed my support.  My dad was struggling since we just lost our home and everything we had saved up.  We were probably in the worst place as a family with no financial stability.

I can remember giving in and just saying, “God, my life is yours and here are my dreams.”  I wrote them on a piece of paper and then went outside to bury them.  I literally had to just bury them.  It was such a devastating time for me and my family.  It just felt like all I ever wanted or dreamed of was gone.  I realized I just had to give them to God and know that he will bring them to pass in his timing.  But I had to focus on getting a job to help my family survive.  It was not about me during this phase of my life but about how God would use me to support my family.

I often say that what you went through as a child shapes your future and your passion.  We become passionate of the things we went through and now for me, God has me giving back to some that are in the very same situation I was in over 25 years ago.

I just began to get well from over 20 years of health issues along with just a new peace and joy that I never had.  Knowing that I don’t have to prove myself to anyone whether it be at my job, to friends, colleagues or family, I can live knowing I am okay with me.  God already chose me so that is all I need.

Whatever it takes to find yourself, take the steps towards focusing on you. It is easy to get swept up in the needs of your family and friends, but take time to focus on yourself and remember what you want.


One Comment

  1. Rich Warren

    CSU is a wonderful avenue to help find yourself!
    I had just turned fifty and realized that additional education was required moving forward in my career. CSU provides an incredible opportunity for someone who had not been in school for a quarter century to integrate higher education into a busy lifestyle.
    Your efforts to support people like me is a blessing that changes people’s lives in wonderful ways.
    As a friend told me once, It is OK to be OK.
    Thank you and God Bless!